Thursday, December 27, 2007

The Reason for the Season

We've all seen mention about the "Reason for the Season" and putting "Christ" back in "Christmas" so I got to thinking about this. Now "Christ back in Christmas" makes some sense linguistically but the "Reason for the season" despite having a rhyme scheme and fitting more easily into contemporary Christian song lyrics, doesn't make the same sort of sense.

If Jesus is the reason for the season and the season we're entering right when Christmas comes around is winter (which starts 12/21) then it follows that Jesus must be the reason for winter, the season rather than Christmas the holiday inside the season. Inititally, this may seem a rather strange thing for his followers to lay claim to but maybe, upon further examination this makes perfect sense.

Winter is the time when everything is dead and cold so suddenly our gentle Jesus is recast as a lord of death. Now if Jesus is a cold god of death that might make Satan a hot god of life. It does fit with the concept that Hell, the bad place, is known first and foremost for its heat. Are those who are heavenbound going to find need for heavenly parkas to go with their harps and wings? Perhaps it also introduces a reason for the evangelicals to fight Global Warming. Global Warming is the devil's way of trying to exert his hot control over Jesus' glorious cold globe. Revelations! End days are close! More signs! Peter Popoff should open a ministry at the North Pole so as to be closer to the source.

So remember, the next time you complain about the cold weather, you're really complaining about Jesus. Those of you who vacation to warmer climates beware, you're running from God! When you complain about someone being cold or icy you're complaining about them being Godly. Truly, a god fearing person must re-evaluate a great deal once they've discovered this new truth.

So here's to the second coming - it'll be an ice age for sure!

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